Saturday, September 09, 2006

137.
a new url. a new start.

I DUNNO WHY.
do u even understand me?! i live with u 13yrs. A WHOLE OF 13YRS!! i dunno if u've really been slacking like i dunno wad. I MERELY WANTED TO HELP U. why do u keep thinking i am doing my own stuff. I'VE BEEN REALLY REALLY PATIENT ALR. i tried. REALLY I DID. why dun u believe me?! i'm really hurt.

i've shed tears more times then the no of meals i take in my life. WHY? i dunno. i guess i'm just WEAK. i am i am. i NVR deny that fact. i cry SERIOUSLY easily. i cry when i'm sad. hurt. and even happy. I DO KEEP A DIARY- keeping all my happy days, sad days. it's confidential but i'm revealing. there's seriously very little times i am really happy from my heart.

PRETENCE. is that wad i really have to do all the times?! why do i cry? WHY?! i cry for others. and for myself when there's injustice. if i noe i am wrong i wouldnt cry. BUT I AM INNOCENT. i am purely innocent. but why dun u trust me? u beat me so many times i even lost count. every small situation u nvr sat down and talk to me. sometimes i am really jealous of my jie. i somehow feel that she is the "pearl" in ur eyes. u talk to her slowly, ask her for help in need. when she ignores u, i try to help u instead but U IGNORE ME. WHY?! am i really THAT insinificant?

whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy!!!
i dunno. u nvr seem to make an effort when it comes to me. u nvr cared abt my feelings. YES I ADMIT there are times where u comfort me when i cry. BUT THE LAST TIME WAS SO LONG AGO. eversince i'm in upper pri, u dun seem to care abt my emotional needs anymore. i'm hurt.

when u are wrong. u NVR apologize. is there a legend that says when adults apologize, they will die izzit?! wad's wrong with human rites? adults are human. children are also human. teens are also obviously humans. but they were nvr treated the same!! adults are always the "HEAD" of the teens and children.

WHY MUST I STOOP SO LOW TO APOLOGIZE?!
i wont. NVR i will.

i am crying now. i dun want to. i wont.
IT'S A NEW START. crying for u is just A WASTE OF TEARS. i've decided.
U'RE NOT WORTH IT.

ps.
i thank my mum. she may be violent at times but at least she cares abt my feelings.

-
GN /♥ ; 12:11

CREDITS.

edited: like-candystrucked
basecodes: shiroyasha|detonatedlove