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Tuesday, August 29, 2006
125. IT'S ALL OVER. horrified; i managed to remain smiling while feeling so horrible inside. i almost forgot all abt it just like that. something that obstructs me from success; how can i throw it to the back of my mind?! HISTORY'S REPEATING ITSELF. WHY?! fate just carries me to the wrong way and i cant get back on track.. EVERY TEACHERS TELL ME THE SAME THING. i know that; but leopards cant change its spot rite? who tells me i'm improving? who tells me i needa work harder? who tells me i have simply NO IMPROVEMENT? i am desperately trying to change myself.. WHY?! for the aim. i AIM and nvr got it. i really wanna try it out but seems like nothing's giving way to my weird and wilful character anymore. NO ONE'S AMUSED OF IT ANYMORE. in fact- people's SICK of it. BEING TOO TALKATIVE IS WHAT THAT OBSTRUCTS MY SUCCESS. i know. but wad can i do? SHUDDUP? i just talk at the wrong time.. the world agrees. but wad am i to do? i just cant control myself. everything seems amusing and i laugh all the time. THAT'S PRECISELY ME. what can i do? kill myself? but this "advantage" that makes me live longer seems to make me lose the hope of living more.. SC. i cant seem to feel so unfair being kicked out at the last round. NOT BECAUSE OF THE NO. OF VOTES. mcc said it- "eugenie, it's because you talk too much that u cant be a counsellor." i heard it. she said it during lang arts. IT WASNT AN INSULT. it was more like a warning to my success in life next time. disgusted. the feeling- i dunno how to describe. WHY!? that's the only thing i can think of. i was like so stoopid to believe there would be a change in fate. FAT HOPE. i was so sad that i cant be a prefect in pri sch cos i was too talkative. it has nth to do with my ability. NOW IN SEC SCH- everything is just the same situation. SC- i was like so honoured. THEN now i'm so ashamed to tell them i am kicked out. KICKED OUT KICKED OUT. cant i be accepted for wad i am? dsa- i was kicked out. co- i wasnt wanted. sc- teachers hate me. NOW WAD?! wadeva i've lost hope. more than 2teachers confirmed that i.. NVM. just my luck k? WTFISH LA. I HECK LA. - GN /♥ ; 13:00 |
CREDITS.
edited: like-candystrucked basecodes: shiroyasha|detonatedlove |