|
Sunday, August 27, 2006
124th. breaking down. i thot i had nth to say today.. but it seems to me i was wrong again. TODAY; i have made up my mind to be perhaps a lawyer next time.. cos i cant stand injustice.. i WILL defend the rights, the innocent and the helpless.. but how can i prevent myself from experiencing pain and hurt from injustice? *crying* wad am i to u? ur daughter? OR just something to vent ur anger on? mind u; i do have feelings.. i am not a robort or anything for u to shout at or anything else. I AM A HUMAN WITH FEELINGS; WITH EMOTIONS. i know u are my dad. but i cant just swallow all these pain. SCOLDING AND BEATING me when i'm innocent. wad justice is this?! if i'm wrong and u shout at me; FINE. since it's my fault. BUT GET THIS RIGHT. u noe i had nth to do with this and u beat me.. i'm not just feeling so unreasonable; i'm feeling hurt. do u even realise i am not a THING? gosh. i am living in like hell la. i have nvr experience without either of my parents scolding me before i sleep EVERYDAY. they'll just take something to pick on me. may it be wad time i sleep or wadeva. IT DOES HURT. in their minds, am i just someone that is so imperfect? mcc says that every parent thinks that their children is the best. she also said she thinks her children is the best. BUT IT IS SO NOT TRUE. there is like one living example right before ur eyes. ME VS MY PARENTS. my dad refuse to allow me to go china (beijing) sch trip with my classmates.. using so much saliva to persuade him to pay is simply impossible. IT WILL NVR HAPPEN. $1200- i think it's rather affordable ba.. but cos he refuse to pay.. all my hopes are dashed. the thot of gg other countries with my bestest fren is just destroyed. how i wish after i wake up everything changes- my parents realised they should be not so demanding from me and allow me to go beijing and pay fully for the cost. I WISH. *sorry bryce; u can just go there alone with others la.. ziqi; so sad i cant go with u :( * i know we are not very rich. yes; i do noe my limits to the expenses.. i alr declined 2other overseas trip cos i noe it is too ex.. NEW ZEALAND- $2700. PRAGUE- $2100. fine. i know it is ex and it's impossible to go for all so i made choices.. i really wanted to go for prague.. it's at europe lorr.. and i heard it's damn grand la.. i really wanted to go. THEN I LOOK AT THE PRICE. AND SAID NO. then i chose the beijing one.. i was thinking- okok i think this shld be ok cos the price is affordable bah.. then i nvr thot that he would make a big round the bush and say NO lorr. i mean- dun wanna pay then say la. U WERE GIVING ME FALSE HOPE!! do u even noe how deep the disappointment is?! fine. this NO that NO. u might as well give me away.. i may live better somehow. at least maybe the other family cares abt my welfare, my feelings. I RATHER NOT BE BORN AND LIVE IN SUCH A WORLD. if only i could choose. WHY?! wont u get tired just insulting me whole day 24/7? i'm so stressed so hurt- i'm on the verge of commiting suicide.. i'm really tired of all these things happening to me alr lorr. RV. i dunno wad to say abt it. it's just not my style of life. a stressless environment suits me much better. somewhere that life isnt hectic and so rush where everything just flies by. MIND YOU. rv just brings u across and throws u there with no clue; no help. WAD THE?! i noe that letting us have more exposure and experiencing it is a better way to learn but sometimes we do need help dont we? i mean- in this world geniuses are just so rare.. do u really find them in rv?! well. i dunno maybe some of us here are really HIDDEN geniuses but i can be sure i am NOT one of them. i'm just a normal student with some pure luck. MY LIFE JUST SUCK. wad pure luck?! more like horrible fate of life. - GN /♥ ; 14:13 |
CREDITS.
edited: like-candystrucked basecodes: shiroyasha|detonatedlove |